I can

I can move on without a care. To show you I'm not meant to be there. I can see you for what you really are. A monster from afar. I can be all you want me to be. but can you really handle the real me? So far it looks like you have chosen to pick up the trash,ha whatever i will wave at you while i pass. I can hang out with the same friends and yet feel nothing. But then I'm still missing something. I can laugh. I can scream. I can cry. I can sing. But at least i can still be me. I can find someone new. But no one quite like you. But are you really the one for me? I'm not about to sit here and see. I can run from this repetitive place. Without even leaving a trace. But my daddy taught me better. I don't give up when I'm down. I smile when i should frown. So i will run in your race, but at my own pace. Don't play "the game" with me. Because my door has no key. So when your words push down, making me look like a freaking clown. I'll just laugh, and look at you through my red eye. But you wont see a cry. And whisper, to your stupid blank stare.

I.DONT.CARE.

Jealous

The poem still I rise by Maya Angelou

This one makes me want to become a better writer! Not just because i feel powerful when i read it. But because I can see Her when I read it. Her words almost come to life when there flowing Through my head. They give me hope for the day and confidence for tomorrow. Its like she does not care what people think of her or how they see her. Because when the haters are pullin her down, she still will rise.

"you may shoot me with your words,

You may cut me with your eyes,

You may kill me with your hatefullness,

But still, Like air, I'll rise"

Complaints

I'm tired of living here. I'm tired of thinking about you. I'm tired of my memory's. I'm tired of seeing you in the back of my head every time i try to be happy. I'm tired of wanting you back. I'm tired of feeling this way. I'm tired of faking that I'm o.k. I'm tired of holding myself back because I'm scared to let people in. I'm tired of all the fights. I'm tired of the choices. I'm tired of your mistakes. I'm tired of seeing that dream that will never come true. I'm tired of the new me. I'm tired of all the pressure. I'm tired of being lazy. I'm tired of my worthless friends. I'm tired of drama. I'm tired of trying to find a new thing in my life to make me happy. I'm tired of thinking i need a new thing in my life to make me happy, when i don't. I'm tired of feeling empty. I'm tired of my house. I'm tired of work. I'm tired of seeing the same old people every day. Really I'm fine, I'm just tired.....

Love is....

Love is a roller coaster. You will always have ups and downs. Some parts of life is more exciting then other parts. Love is a sun set. Beautiful, and it always comes back around. It shines into your heart letting you feel its warmth. Love is you and me. We make life go the way we want it too. love is a game with no rules. Sometimes you get played by those who know how to play the game. Love is more then just learning how to let go, its about letting in change. Giving chance a try. Letting hope back into your life. Love is not starting over, but learning from your mistakes. Love is knowing you will mess up but having the courage to try again. Love is that voice that says don't give in. Love is not always pretty. But nobody said it was easy

Hard

You want to know what's hard? Life is freakin hard. Its hard to know you were made for so much more but your being treated like your so much less. Its hard to love someone who does not love you back. To see them wish about some other girl when you're standing right there wishing you were that other girl. Its hard to think about how my life could have been and having to live it by how it should have been. Its hard making that someday a today. Its hard living up to something you're not. Its dang hard letting go of something that used to make you so happy. Its hard being what your not. Its hard forgetting the past. Its hard listening to my parents talk about their day like i should be proud to live in mine ...when i don't. It sucks.